I Kind Of Want To Change My URL but I Am Attached To The One I Have: An Autobiography
Wow I love this so much. It really reminds the reader that so much of Homestuck is lost in the cartoon-like style Hussie tends to use. This really displays exactly how frightening Bec Noir is - and how much of a badass Jade is. Great piece.
THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.
i fucking love the shit out of this.
Reblogging this again cuz it is literally my favorite post ever
i might make more, but this is it for now. (ancestor + kiddy alpha trolls+ beta grubs)
Since I have no idea when the next update is going to happen, and since I’ve had kind of a stressful week, let’s you and I do Kingdombent’s first-ever REQUEST NIGHT!
1. SEND THEM TO THE KINGDOMBENT ASKBOX, NOT MY PERSONAL ASKBOX.
2. Anything but future spoilers is fair game! Backstories? Okay! Canon blind spots? Got it! Ridiculous crackfic? Aight, we can do it!
3. Accepting requests for FICS, HEADCANONS, and CHARACTER ASKS, so be sure to specify which one you want!
I’m super excited for this, so let’s make it a good night, y’all!
I’ve always wondered what exactly Voldemort and the Death Eaters did to Florean Fortescue. Why was he so important that they felt the need to kidnap him? Were they perhaps so evil that they didn’t even want people to have ice cream anymore? Or did they just want all the ice cream for themselves?
|—||every tumblr user with a side blog (via sherlokided)|
omg gou and makoto would be ALL OVER THAT SHIT gou because she’s a girl and convinced that she is good with babies and makoto because he is actually
good with babies and knows what he’s doing because of ren and ran
anyway it turns out that the ONLY one that can make the baby stop crying—and trust me they’ve tried everything, nagisa’s been making funny faces to make the baby laugh and rei’s been like researching wtf to do “is it colic???” and makoto’s been humming and gou’s just been patting the baby’s back like nO NO NO PLZ STOP CRYING—is haru.
and haru is extremely unimpressed by this but he has no choice and the baby just calms down like a dream in his arms, it’s amazing. and when rin comes over to like visit for the weekend or w/e he’s like …wtf and haru’s just like here your turn and the baby is only a little more fussy when rin’s holding him but when haru touches the baby’s head the baby calms down and sleeps and the team is like
wtf why is this a thing that happens gOD THEY (haru and rin) DON’T EVEN LIKE BABIES THAT MUCH